Frank Smith Pittman, III, M.D. (1935 - November 24, 2012) was an American psychiatrist and author. He wrote a regular column, "Ask Dr. Frank", which used to appear in Psychology Today.
During his lifetime, he was a "widely quoted author" of Man Enough: Fathers, Sons and the Search for Masculinity and Private Lies: Infidelity and Betrayal of Intimacy. He was also author of books Grow Up!: How Taking Responsibility Can Make You a Happy Adult, and Turning Points: Treating Families in Transition and Crisis.
Dr. Pittman practiced out of Atlanta, Georgia, where he was active as a psychiatrist and family therapist from 1962 until his death in 2012. Both of Dr. Pittman's daughters are psychologists.
Infidelity was a central focus of Dr. Pittman's work. In a 1993 article for Psychology Today, he wrote:
"Day after day in my office I see men and women who have been messing around. They lead secret lives, as they hide themselves from their marriages. They go through wrenching divorces, inflicting pain on their children and their children's children. Or they make desperate, tearful, sweaty efforts at holding on to the shreds of a life they've betrayed. They tell me they have gone through all of this for a quick thrill or a furtive moment of romance. Sometimes they tell me they don't remember making the decision that tore apart their life: 'It just happened.' Sometimes they don't even know they are being unfaithful. (I tell them: 'If you don't know whether what you are doing is an infidelity or not, ask your spouse.') From the outside looking in, it is insane. How could anyone risk everything in life on the turn of a screw?"
In a 2000 interview, Dr. Pittman spoke about his view of "growing up."
"But growing up does mean that while your feelings are very interesting, they're not the only thing that's going on in the universe today. And however lovely your feelings are, and however fascinating your complicated state of mind, there are things that need to be done. And if you're going to take on a partner, there are responsibilities there. If you're going to have children, there are responsibilities there. And you can't really run out on those responsibilities and maintain much of a sense of honor and integrity. You can't run out on those responsibilities and really grow up in a way that makes you proud of your life's choices in the second half of your life."
In 2003, Dr. Pittman was recognized with the Smart Marriages Impact Award at the annual conference of the Coalition for Marriage, Family and Couples Education.
"To our leader, our compass, our chief, in gratitude for helping us understand what men and marriage are for - just how much each needs the other - and, just how much we need them both."
Dr. Pittman died at his Atlanta home on November 24, 2012 of cancer. He is survived by his wife of 52 years, Betsy Pittman, two daughters, Dr. Tina Wagers of Boulder, CO., and Dr. Virginia Pistilli of Portola, CA.; a son, Frank S. Pittman IV of Atlanta, GA; a sister, Joanna Fox of Cashiers, NC, and seven grandchildren.
Maps, Directions, and Place Reviews
Notable quotes
- ""Marriage isn't supposed to make you happy; it is supposed to make you married".
- "Marriage, like a submarine, is only safe if you get all the way inside."
- "Bad marriages don't cause infidelity; infidelity causes bad marriages."
- "...in the end, there is nothing a man can do that a woman can't, except be a father."
- "For most people, a life lived alone, with passing strangers or passing lovers, is incoherent and ultimately unbearable. Someone must be there to know what we have done for those we love."
Education
- Research, Community Mental Health, Family Therapy, Denver, Colorado, from a grant from the National Institute of Mental Health
- Medical Residency, psychiatry, Emory University
Publications
Books
- Turning Points: Treating Families in Transition and Crisis, Frank Pittman, M.D., A Norton Professional Book, (Hardcover), W. W. Norton & Company; 1st ed edition, May 1987, ISBN 0-393-70040-2, ISBN 978-0-393-70040-4, W W Norton page
- Private Lies: Infidelity and Betrayal of Intimacy, Frank Pittman, M.D., W. W. Norton & Company; Reprint edition November 1990, ISBN 0-393-30707-7, ISBN 978-0-393-30707-8, W W Norton page
- Mentiras Privadas (Spanish edition), Amorrortu Editores, September 1994, ISBN 950-518-543-X, ISBN 978-950-518-543-6
- Man enough: fathers, sons and the search for masculinity, Frank Pittman, M.D., Perigee Trade; Reprint edition October 1, 1994, ISBN 0-399-51883-5, ISBN 978-0-399-51883-6
- Grow Up!: How Taking Responsibility Can Make You a Happy Adult, Golden Guides from St. Martin's Press, ISBN 1-58238-040-6, ISBN 978-1-58238-040-7, July 30, 1999
Articles
- "How to be a Grownup Even Around Your Own Parents", Psychotherapy.net, October 2002.
- [5]"Beware Older Women Ahead," Psychology Today, January 1, 1999.
- [6]"How to Manage Your Kids," Psychology Today, May 1, 1995.
- [7]"How to Manage Mom and Dad," Psychology Today, November 1, 1994.
- "Ask Dr. Frank", Psychology Today, May/June 1994 issue.
- "Ask Dr. Frank", Psychology Today, March/April 1994 issue.
- [8]"A Buyer's Guide to Psychotherapy," Psychology Today, January 1, 1994.
- [9]"Fathers and Sons," Psychology Today, September 1, 1993.
- [10]"Beyond Betrayal: Life After Infidelity," Psychology Today, May 1, 1993.
- Google Scholar articlesGoogle Scholar
Presentations
- "What are Men for, Anyway?", Reno, Nevada, June 28, 2003, Keynote Address, Smart Marriages Conference
- Response to "The Death of 'Till Death Us Do Part': "Marriage in the 20th Century", July 2002, Keynote Address, Smart Marriages Conference
- Myth and Ritual in American Life, A Sloan Center for Working Families, "Ritual Function and Family Dysfunction: The Therapist's View", Emory University
Source of the article : Wikipedia
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